Coming up: A stagger in the woods

I’ve just discovered that there is a 5K cross-country race not far up the road Sunday morning, and I’m thinking of wandering a few towns north to jump in. There are lots more divisions than I remember from my last serious racing period decades ago: Open (through 29), Submaster (30-39), Master (40-49), Grandmaster (50-59), Senior (60-69—this is me), and...may I eventually make it this far...Exalted (70 and up). (Too bad you can’t be both Exalted and a Grandmaster...that would be true glory.)

For this event, there are none of what I remember as the usual youth divisions—probably because it’s billed as the “Age Before Beauty” run. Does this mean that the perfect bods in the Open category have to stand aside and bow us saggy people through? Will I be the only saggy person, despite running with others of my age, not to mention Exalteds? Will there be beards to pull?

I’ve coached and raced over this ground, but not for eons. Here’s pretty much the entire course description:

“...a hill at 1.5 mile mark with an elevation rise of 134’. Then it drops 134’ in elevation! There are plenty of leaves, roots, rocks, mud, and possibly snow. There are several outhouses. 100% Cross-Country!!!”

Since cross-country, with its smell of liniment at the line, its chilly, crowded starts, and its inescapable touch of anarchy, is the world's greatest sport, this sounds perfect to me. And this particular Senior particularly appreciates the outhouses.