Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Hanging in there

My dad’s been failing for some time. About a year ago, we brought him down to live in the apartment over our garage. This wasn’t easy in let me count the ways, and it wasn’t until summer that he allowed himself to feel comfortable and moderately content.

His problems have progressed, and shortly after New Year, partly for his safety but primarily to save what’s left of my own sanity, I finally signed him up for daycare at a nearby facility. The place is big, bright, active, well-staffed, and safe. He, of course, hates it, and we’re working on that.

One of the things that bothers him is that it’s far away. Which it isn’t. He insists that it’s in New Haven. Today, I told him for the hundredth time, “Dad, it’s in Middlebury” (our next-door town). His response? An explosive, indignant “No way!” The absurdity of not being able to persuade him of a verifiable truth about an area he once knew like the back of his hand eventually drove me to prolonged hilarity somewhere just on the safe side of hysteria. I finally asked him, mostly in jest, if he thought I was kidding, was lying, or was just plain stupid. He often has trouble with his speech, so he struggled for a moment before he spat out the word he wanted.


Our slender saving grace right now is that we’re still capable of reacting the way we both did. We laughed.


Alan Sloman said...

Good luck, Mark
It's change and everyone is comfortable with what they're used to. Time will help and you'll get a bit of your life back too.

John said...

I second Alan's comments.

I'm in a very similar position, my father is strongly objecting to daycare - and that's for only one half-day a week!

Your own sanity is something to protect at all costs. Don't under-estimate the stresses and strains that can creep up on you as a carer - they can easily bite you on the bum if you're not careful.

Chin up - and go easy.

Best wishes,